The titular valet in No Brakes Valet isn’t quite as bad as the famous garage attendant from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. He is, in fact, a professional. And he’d be well on his way to the Valet Hall Of Fame… if it weren’t for an apparently religious opposition to using the brake pedal. It’s the sort of minor personal hang-up that can really sink a career in vehicular services.
No Brakes Valet was originally an OUYA title, though it comes from slightly notable indie developer Captain Games, of Enviro-Bear 2010 and BEEFWAR fame. The objective is to park a series of cars in a tiny parking lot without using brakes. To say that the game is difficult is to miss an opportunity to use adjectives like “soul-crushing” and “digitally cruel,” but it’s all in a sense of fender-bending fun, spurred on by the developer’s standard Microsoft Paint graphics. That said, moving from a controller to a touchscreen can’t do No Brakes Valet any favors.
Most cars can (and will) be parked anywhere, but you’ll get a curveball every once in a while with a dignitary or a handicapped parking space. Road hazards include buildings, water traps, and moose. You’ll need a keen eye for physics and a distinct lack of concern for other people’s property to win. No Brakes Valet is a reasonable $3 on the Play Store with no in-app purchases.
The Ratchet and Clank series has been around for over a decade now, spawning one hit platformer after another. Stars Ratchet and Clank have appeared in multiple racing games and thrown a few punches in the fighting game, PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale, but there’s one genre that they have yet to appear in, one that’s nearly a requisite these days – an infinite runner. Sony’s latest mobile release, Ratchet and Clank: Before the Nexus, addresses this issue head-on.
Before the Nexus features characters from the latest PlayStation 3 entry in the series, Into the Nexus, including enemies Vendra, Neftin Prog, and Thugs 4 Less. Ratchet will hop along grindrails, dodging threats and collecting bolts that can upgrade his weapons and armor. He will also collect Raritanium, which players can sync via a PSN account and use in the console title directly.
You can use real money to buy bolts if collecting them the old fashioned way proves too time-consuming, but aside from that, the game is free to play. Get it below.
If you couldn’t get enough of Dirk and Daphne from the original Dragon’s Lair, they’re back in the arcade sequel. Dragon’s Lair 2 was originally released back in 1991 on arcade laserdisc machines, enabling the beautiful 2D art from master animator Don Bluth to shine through. Dragon’s Lair 2: Time Warp is five dollars on the Play Store (the same price as the original) and is compatible with Android 1.5 and up.
The story in DL2 has shifted slightly – the protagonist’s “Happily Ever After” doesn’t last long, as Daphne is kidnapped by a time-hopping wizard. Dirk trades his trusty steed for a rusty time machine and gives chase, fighting off Bluth’s typically zany monsters and dying many, many, many times. The animation is as good as it’s ever been, and with high definition resolution, it might look even better than when you played it two decades ago.
The sequel uses the same extremely simple Simon Says-style gameplay as the original, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, so pass this one up if you’re looking for action. But if you want what’s essentially a playable cartoon with some great nostalgia value, give it a shot. The game has Xperia Play support, though those without physical controls should be able to play through just fine. Looking doe something similar? Try Space Ace, from the same classic production team.
We’ve already cruised through Liberty City and significantly lowered property values in Vice City, now it’s time for a west coast vacation in San Andreas. The third Grand Theft Auto game of the PlayStation 2 era just landed on the Play Store in its blocky, polygonal, sandbox glory, and you can pick it up for a cool $6.99. No in-app purchases, no time-outs, just good old-fashioned Rockstar madness.
San Andreas takes the GTA action to California with a huge, fictional city amalgamating Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Las Vegas, and some rural backcountry that hadn’t been seen in the series up to that point. Like Vice City before it, San Andreas moves the clock back, this time going to a slightly larger-than-life version of the early 90s. You play as CJ, a young African American making his way through the various facets of the criminal underworld. You steal cars. You kill people. You do other things that kids probably shouldn’t be allowed to do in video games.
This was the last GTA game on the PS2 and Xbox, and for a lot of players, it was significantly better than Grand Theft Auto 4, which tended to lose focus with too much to do in the fictional city. Improvements over Vice City include slightly better graphics, more vehicles, customizable cars and player avatars, an entirely new genre-spanning soundtrack, and expanded mini-games. The Android version features adjustable graphic settings and compatibility with MOGA and other Bluetooth controllers.
From points unknown, comes the one and only Colossatron. Like all giant serpentine robots, Colossatron is mainly concerned with destroying lesser civilizations, and you can take control of the action in the newest game from Halfbrick Studios.
This title is a sort of casual robot builder, if there is such a thing. Colossatron goes about its business, rolling around the screen, shooting at everything in range. Most of your interaction with the game comes in the form of adding new modules to the robot. If you connect three of the same color, they collapse into a single more powerful subunit. Match two of the primary colors, like blue and red, and you get a third color with a different power (purple in this case).
The game has clean graphics and a fun cartoony style with full support for immersive mode on Android 4.4. The developers also framed the game as a series of amusing, goofy news reports. Also, your enemy is called General Mustache – what more could you want? Still not sold? We’re pretty sure Colossatron’s core is made of a decapitated Power Ranger Dinozord.
Uncanny, right? Colossaltron is a buck, but there are some in-app purchases built-in.
The Cave was released way back in January as a downloadable title for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii U, Steam, and probably everything else that can slap together an Internet connection and a few polygons. Adventure game aficionados were thrilled, because it’s got quite a pedigree, coming from the designer of classics The Secret of Monkey Island and Maniac Mansion, along with being developed by the much-loved Double Fine. Now it’s out for Android, and you can pick it up on the Play Store for five bucks.
The Cave follows a handful of protagonists who are lured to… well, a cave, so I suppose you can’t fault the game for untruthful advertising. In a series of platforms and puzzles you’ll unravel the backstories of your chosen characters, switching between them to advance through the stages and get past traps and monsters. The eclectic story forces each one to confront his or her past as the narrative swings from black humor to drama like a pendulum, which is something that should be familiar to fans of Double Fine games and their progenitors.
Don’t expect Sonic-level platforming or Zelda-level puzzles here – The Cave isn’t interested in making you die fifty times to reach the end of the stage. Though the game has these mechanics thrown in to keep things interesting, it’s an adventure title at heart. Decent 2.5D graphics and character designs infused with personality make it look unique, though older Android devices may struggle to keep up. The Cave is compatible with phones and tablets running 2.3 or higher, and there are no in-app purchases.
From the company that brought us Nun Attack and the action-packed followed-up Nun Attack: Run & Gun comes Lightbringer: Saviors of Raia, an entirely different property that bears zero resemblance to the aforementioned titles. This new IP is decidedly less casual, and its 4-player multiplayer hack and slash gameplay might just be enough to keep Diablo fans satisfied when they’re away from their computers.
The game’s name is rather literal. Darkness has consumed the land of Raia, infecting the innocent and turning them into monsters. So it’s up to you and a trusty band of light-bearing heroes to gather your weapons, build your skills, and steady those thumbs in order to purge the world of evil. The action is fierce, and before the battle is won, you and your friends will face hundreds of foes on-screen at once.
The game is available for free, but it’s only supported on tablets. Keep that in mind as you check out the Play Store link below.